How to install a wireless alarm system. ;-)
Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used work boots, a really big
pair. Put them outside your front door on top of a copy of Guns and Ammo
magazine.

Put a dog dish beside it. A really big dish.

Leave a note on your front door that says something like:

"Bubba, big Mike and I have gone to get more ammunition - back in 1/2 hr.

Don't disturb the Pit Bulls, they've just been wormed."
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